Oh HEY. I’m a nursing student!

Yeah you read that correctly. I’m officially one week into my first semester of nursing school! And this is what I’m already dealing with…

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You are seeing that correctly. Five books for a five-week summer session. One is so big that I swear it weighs more than a small child. So far my schedule hasn’t been too hectic, but I have a very strong feeling that will be changing in September when the Fall semester begins. It’s daunting. There are no words. [I know someone who recently graduated. She told me her friend ended up in the hospital with heart palpitations because of the stress! OMGOSH.]

Somehow I always forget how much better writing out thoughts/feelings/mindless rambles makes me feel. I don’t understand myself sometimes. Does that even make any sense? I feel like I’m always saying that; sorry! But it’s true. I just keep forgetting. I’m definitely going to try to post at least once a week. Something interesting is bound to happen that doesn’t break any confidentiality laws. I’ve been trying to find a way to make sure I hold myself to this promise. Any ideas?

Well on the first day of class, we were asked to state what our worst fears were going into nursing school. Mine was that I’m afraid I’m going to be terrible at everything and just fail. I get that they wanted us to bond and whatever, but was a conversation about self-doubt really necessary on the  f i r s t  day? I don’t think so. But then I saw something on Instagram that made everything seem a little less worrisome…

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How perfect is that? I have faith in God’s glorious plan for me. I’m confident that nursing school is the destiny He set out for me. But doubt is the Devil’s plaything. I just have to remind myself that if this isn’t what He wants for me, then life will change, and I have to be okay with that. I have the support of some amazing Godly people who will help me when changes seem impossible. So for now, my motto is this: Just have faith. I think I can manage that one.

inspiration // “Those whose steps are guided by the Lord, whose ways God approves, may stumble, but they will never fall, for the Lord God holds their hand.” ~ Psalm 37:23-24

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Blog-dentity Crisis

I might be having a blog-dentity crisis. Well, I was. I couldn’t decide exactly what I wanted the point of this blog to be. But I finally realized: there doesn’t need to be a point! Honestly, I just want to share my experiences, good and bad, learn from those experiences, and have a creative outlet for the constant state of commentary constantly playing in my mind.

[You can imagine how hard it would be to ever get to sleep. But that’s another topic.]

I’ve used this blog to rant. I’ve used this blog to attempt to be a fashion blogger. I’ve used this blog as an excuse not to study for microbiology or some other class. But have I really been using this blog to its fullest potential? I don’t think so.

do want this blog to be a success, though. And the only what I can do that is if I actually post! I’m working on that. It’s kind of my late New Year’s Resolution, or something. I know I can’t always put everything into this blog, especially as I move to the next stage of my life [nursing school].

Someone recently reminded me of this: I need to really focus on nursing school and my studies because one day, peoples’ lives will depend on my knowledge. And while I absolutely agree with that, and my studies will not be any less important if I put a little more effort into this blog, the knowledge I learn by interacting with people and learning from my experiences is just as important, in my opinion.

I’m going to try to find a balance between my studies and blogging. I am not going to have a “theme” for this blog, so hopefully that allows me to cover all the bases I’ve ever wanted to with this blog. Does that even make sense? I hope so. I’m definitely rambling at this point.

Even if the experiences I share with y’all don’t directly relate to you in any way, I hope that I can at least have some sort of impact on your lives. Whether I make you smile, think, laugh out loud, or completely change your life, I want to make an impact. And I would love for y’all to tell me about this impact, no matter the size.

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Senior Year. Final Semester. Week One.

DAY ONE:

I woke up with high hopes of getting everything I wanted out of my final semester at Texas A&M University. Oh how my dreams would soon dwindle. My first two classes, being in the same lecture room, were mostly uneventful, minus the realization that one of my profs was going to be a cocky S.O.B. and the fact that this lecture hall is underneath our stadium, and thus, extremely difficult to find (AKA first challenge). Then came my third class, and my second challenge. I was going to have to all but sprint across almost the entire length of campus in twenty minutes to make it in time. By the grace of God, I made it. Relief waved over me briefly, then my prof walked in. I have heard stories… But I have never experienced her teaching techniques first hand. Oh boy. I make it through the class, barely, and delight in the fact that I have a short break to get a snack and coffee before I head to my next challenge: getting forced into a yoga class. When the instructor arrives, I ask to speak with her. I explain my whole situation about being a graduating senior and being forced into two other classes that meant I had to drop another kinesiology class and that I couldn’t get into another so would she pretty please force me into hers. She said to stay for class and email her afterwards to remind her so she could see about forcing me in. I did that. But then I made the mistake of sending a second email telling her that I had a backup plan. Sure, sure, this sounds like the nice thing to do…

DAY TWO:

NOPE. I get an email the next morning (day two) from her, telling me that she would not be letting anyone into her class. I accepted defeat and went online to try to find another kinesiology class. To my surprise, I find that she’s actually forced an extra person into all but one of her yoga classes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am seeing red at this point. I do the right thing, and where does that get me? Put in an 8am aerobic walking class. Gee, thanks. That’s super. The rest of the day is mostly uneventful. I bought some shoes and dividers and organized. I also ended up submitting my applications to five nursing programs. I had so much tension about that. But as soon as I did it and knew that it was out of my hands, this huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It could not have come at a better time. Especially since I had to wake up at 6:30am the next morning for aerobic walking. Ugh.

DAY THREE:

So far so good. I woke up on time. Got to class on time. The aerobic walking instructor is nice. I’m wearing my new shoes. I had time to get an extra hot vanilla latte. I saw my friend and amazing microbiology lab partner from last semester. Now I’m sitting on the floor waiting for my class in 30 minutes.

So basically the first two days were kind of a bust for me. Believe me, I wanted so badly to give up last night and just drink myself into a stupor. But I didn’t. Thankfully, I have God on my side, so I know that He will only put me in situations that He knows I can handle. Without that… there would be definite wine stupor.
I would really like to make my blog more attractive. If anyone out there is reading this, could you recommend a good blog/graphic designer? I would much appreciate it. Mind you, I am a poor college student, so I can’t break the bank on this. But if they’re good, I would invest.
xoxo!
Robyn 

Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Nerdy Like Me?

As I walk up to the library in which I regularly spend my time yesterday (Saturday) morning, it dawns on me that there are maybe all of three people, not including employees, at the library. It wasn’t that early, around 11 am, and it got me thinking. 

Well first of all, I acknowledged that I spent my Friday (12:30 pm – 7:30 pm) stranded in my little study cubby at the exact same library. I began to wonder if it was as vacant the day before as it was that morning. And I realize, yes, it was. Then I wonder why?

Suddenly, it dawns on me: “Normal” people don’t spend their Friday nights studying the anatomy and physiology of the human body, they’re out partying. 

Okay, I can accept that. 

Then I begin to wonder about why people aren’t at the library then, though. Eventually I come to the realization that everyone else is sleeping off their drunken stupor from the night before. Whereas I was at home, nursing my exhausted brain and self medicating with red wine while watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules.

What better way to shut my brain down than to watch grown women shriek and curse at one another? That’s my kinda party. Wink wink.

I started wondering if maybe I was doing this whole college experience thing wrong. I rarely (I won’t say never) drink in excess, I don’t exploit myself to the opposite sex, and I basically spend what ever time I’m not in class or at the library laying in bed, watching television and or reading. Oh and of course eating Popchips and string cheese while drinking what ever cheap wine I happened to purchase at my local grocery store that week.

After spending nine hours at the library that day (Saturday), I was mentally and physically exhausted. Mentally, because my prof is kind of an idiot and shouldn’t be allowed near influential people with a 20 foot pole thus I’m forced to teach myself. Physically, because the amount of moving I had the option of doing that day was very minimal. There’s really only so much dancing and waving your arms around that you can do in a study cubby. I sure as heck was’t going to go into the main area of the library. People would have thought I had lost my damn mind (which may actually have been on the verge of happening, unfortunately). 

But here’s the kicker: after spending 16.5 hours of the last two days in the library, I still ended up back at the library today (Sunday), finishing what I had been working on during those 16.5 hours along with studying and preparing for two other exams.

I should mention that I have a total of FOUR exams to take, a paper to turn in, a project to complete and turn in, and being Confirmed into the Catholic Church all squished into Monday through Wednesday of next week.

As I’m drawing this post to a close, I realize that I’m not really missing out on anything. Drinking excessively, contracting sexually transmitted diseases and (most importantly) failing exams, assignments, papers or even classes is NOT the college experience I want to be having. 

So while I may seem like a complete nerd for spending my entire weekend in the library, and obsessively typing more notes than is really necessary, I’m pretty sure that it’s safe to say that sometimes it really is acceptable to be nerdy. 

And by nerdy, I mean responsible. Those rare moments of wanting to get a little crazy “just because”, I stop and think about everything I have and want to accomplish in my life. Growing intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, whatever-ly is what I want to do. Even if that means spending my entire weekend in the library’s study cubbies.

That brings me to my next question: if I’m here often enough, do you think they will let me decorate my cubby? Hmm..